Book of Mormon Notes– How deep can you dig?

2010, June 2

“Another LDS/ Mormon Missionary Fable” by grego

Another LDS/ Mormon Missionary Fable

grego
(c) 2010

(Hey, my problem, quality probably gets lower and lower on these fables as my patience and caring gets lower and lower… Still, to give another idea…)

Welcome to The Club!

To get in, you need to pay a steep membership fee. For higher privileges, you need to pay even more.

The favorite area of the club members is: the Sandbox.

The Sandbox is lots of fun, really. And it’s open to all members.

Of course, there are, on a few occasions, a few things that happen, like:
—it’s far away, and no public transportation passes by there;
—they rush everyone in the door, but then the directions are really hard to follow, and the service people aren’t easy to find sometimes;
—the wind blows and someone gets a little sand in the eyes;
—someone throws a little sand, and it gets on someone;
—someone throws a little sand, and it gets in someone’s eyes;
—cats crap in it;
—the kids get sandy;
—the sun gets unbearable as it beats down directly on you;
—you play by yourself.

So, many club members leave.

Let’s say that in some areas 80 out of 100 people who walk through the door, walk back out *minutes* later, never to come back.

The manager thinks, “Dang, the boss said he wants as many people as can in the sandbox; I guess I need to spend more money to do some more advertising and recruiting.”

So he hires better trained sales staff, and they bring in better members, but still…

What would *you* tell the manager?

Would you suggest anything like:
—monitors?
—more and better-trained staff? better orientation?
—put nets around so cats don’t get in?
—put up a little “wash-up” center?
—put up a white cloth, etc. over part(s) of the sandbox so there’s some shade?
—parties and group activities?
—friends?
—people to call and invite them back?

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is spending US$15,600,000 **MONTHLY** just to support missionaries in the field (52,000 missionaries x US$300). That cost does not include much overhead, leaders, leadership training, etc. Maybe $3,466,667 for plane tickets each month? Total cost: twenty million dollars ($20,000,000)/ month? Two-hundred-and-forty million dollars ($240,000,000)/ year?

If 280,106 new members (from the 2009 Statistical Report)/ year join, that means it costs $856.82/ new member.

If the Church were to have a 20% retention rate, that would mean one-hundred-and-ninety-two million dollars ($192,000,000) is being wasted every year, because people don’t stay once they get in… :-( When you add up lost opportunity costs, lost resource costs, etc., it’s much higher.

If you were the boss…??

If you were the manager…??

Is it really too hard to try a few well-thought-out missionary pilot programs?
Is it possible to make the sandbox a more pleasant place to join and stay around?
Would it be more worthwhile to take some of that budget money, and rearrange/ balance priorities?

But you aren’t the boss/ manager/ etc., and neither am I, nor anyone else. So the question is, what will *I* do to make the Sandbox a funner place to be?

Folks, these aren’t “club members in a sandbox”; they’re souls of Heavenly Father’s children!

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